I hate this. I really do. This time comes around twice a year. You would assume that I'd be used to it now. Well you're dead wrong. It never fails to ruin everything. As strange as it sounds, I start turning into my old self. The one that is constantly uptight and bitchy. Lashes out for no apparent reason. Never finds anything funny. Doesn't get along with people easily. Jealous freak. Just a horrible person in general. I hate this. I hate becoming this. I wish it didn't get this bad, but this is what stress does to me. Everyone always tells me to just calm down and not get so worked up about it. Do you honestly think I enjoy being this way? Hell no. Even though I know I get this way, I can't seem to change or stop it. From the lack of sleep to the insane brain overload, my body can't take it. I start to break down. It's begun a lot earlier this time. I'm extremely sorry to anyone who has to put up with this. I'd honestly recommend that you just leave now. It will probably be what's best for you. Even though it might hurt me, I'll deal. If you choose to stick around, I promise it's not permanent. It will pass. I'm trying so hard not to lash out as bad as I usually do. I'm trying to bite my tongue and keep quite but sometimes it just gets to be a little too much for me to handle. I'm trying my hardest to let things go and not let it bother me, but at times, I can't help it. I'm sorry. I truly am.
